Are You Ready to Convert Your Passion into a Lucrative Career?

July 28th, 2010

It’s been six years since I self-published my first book Simply…Woman! and what a ride it’s been.

Since that time I have gone from being a newly, separated single mother (I’d been a stay-at-home mom prior to splitting and left with nothing) who spent far too much money making publishing and marketing mistakes . . . to releasing three more best-selling books with Hay House Publishing, working on a hit TV show that is seen in over 15 countries, to creating an enterprise of products, services, and motivational talks, including opening my own coaching institute. I even got re-married!

I did it all without an agent, manager, investor, or business mentor.

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Better to Die in Charge than Die the Thousand Deaths of a Victim

July 27th, 2010

Have you ever heard the saying, “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting”?

What is it that causes some of us to stay on that dreaded treadmill of life—wishing, hoping, and praying that something will suddenly get better? Are we suckers for punishment? Do we enjoy running ourselves ragged? Or do we truly believe that this is our destiny so we must live it, sacrifice, and simply allow it to take its course? Is it a deep need to be in control—to think we can change what “is” and make it be what we want it to be? Perhaps, it is merely the natural fear of the unknown. Maybe, not enough belief in ourselves or faith that God will take care of us?

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Self Discovery: Do You Know Who You Really Are?

July 8th, 2010

I’ve learned over the years—over the good times and over the absolute worst times—to constantly remind myself of “who I really am” and to never fall prey to believing that my worldly successes or failures define me.

I am “who I am” – regardless of fame, fortune or status; I am “who I am” – regardless of failures, betrayals, or other people’s opinions of me. I am still “me”...

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Being Busy is Very Different from Being Productive!

July 4th, 2010

A few weeks ago, I was driving down a country road near my home. In the distance, I noticed a woman at the end of her long, dirt driveway. She was standing in the ditch with a rake in her hand. As I approached, I watched as she furiously stoked the dry grass that was beginning to spring back to life. I scanned her front yard and spied a small run-down house, close to a quarter-of-a-mile back from the road; the house was dilapidated, with junk all around—rusting cars, tools, and garbage. I shockingly looked back to this woman, who had to be in her late 60s, working like mad to clean the ditch. I shook my head and reminded myself that being busy has nothing to do with being productive or effective!

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Truth . . . I am Not as Thin as I Used to Be!

June 26th, 2010

Truth … All the women in my family struggle with their weight … the men too!

Truth … I eat for hunger, for pleasure, for sorrow. And I know when I’m doing it!

Truth … I’ve never been happier, more content, more aligned with who I really am, and more grateful!

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That’s the truth!

I look back at my pictures—from even six or seven years ago. I see leaner arms, a smaller waist, thinner legs, younger skin. I’ll smile. “Boy, I looked good!”

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Being Pro-Woman Doesn’t Mean Anti-Man!

June 19th, 2010

Sometime between 59 BC – 17 AD, Roman author and historian, Titus Livius, coined the phrase “Better late than never.” (Okay, so first off, let me tell you how dumb I felt when I realized that I didn’t know they had “historians” in 59 BC—let alone, that a quote like that came from “way back then” and has stood the test of time.)

It reminds me of the morning (not very long ago) when my 15-year old daughter asked me if there was hairspray, gel or mousse when I was a teenager. Imagine, my kids thinking hairspray was invented in the last 20 years!

The truth is most of us are totally ignorant about our past—our history—and about the people who came before us—be it Roman historians or our very own great-grandmothers. We are so caught up in our own lives, planning our futures, while focused on our wants, needs and frustration that we often disregard the wealth of knowledge and insight that comes from understanding our history.

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April 29th, 2010
This morning, after teaching my yoga class, the ladies and I started talking about dating. I jokingly told them, “I’ve never really dated. In fact, the two men I dated I married! The other one, I spent close to seven years with.” They all laughed as I explained that when I was single if I didn’t get a “great vibe” off someone, right from the “get-go,” I wouldn’t consider wasting my time or theirs for a first date. For close to a year (between my two big “break-ups”), I stayed single. Besides, dating just didn’t seem to fit with where I was emotionally and spiritually.And when did I know I was ready to start dating? When he (my husband) caught my eye, my thoughts, and my undivided attention. Until then, no one interested me and dating wouldn’t be fair to someone else (someone who might be ready to commit when I clearly wasn’t). Yet, how did I “know” with such certainty that I was not only ready to date but that this was the “right” man for me? (We were engaged in four months and married nine months later!)

How did I know? Clarity and Confidence!

I had clarity going into the dating scene and confidence in my ability to trust in myself to make the right decision!

In fact, that clarity seems to follow me in everything I do. When I went to buy my wedding dress, it took me less than 20 minutes to pick it out, try it on, and buy it! The sales ladies were astounded and actually very impressed. The owner of the store told me I was a “confident woman who knew who I was!” The fact that I didn’t need anyone else’s opinion nor did I need to go home and think about it, showed her I possessed something powerful: Clarity and confidence.

Truth is, I was slightly embarrassed and, for a split moment, began to re-think my choice. “What woman goes by herself to pick out a wedding dress and buys it in less than 20 minutes? Did I not care enough about how I looked?” No! That wasn’t it. I absolutely cared about my wedding day and wanted a fairytale wedding! But I knew what I wanted!

I do the same thing with my books. I write them and send them to my publisher without anyone else reading them or giving me their opinion. I know what I want to say, just as I knew how I wanted to look at my wedding; it all just seemed logical to me. Why get influenced by everyone else’s opinion of what you should do, say, look or feel?

Going back to the wedding dress: When I walked in, I told the ladies what I was looking for. They brought me a dress close to what I requested, I tried it on, and “Voila,” 15 minutes later, I walked out completely and utterly content! I didn’t need to try on 100 dresses to know what I liked, no more than I needed to date 100 men to know who “fit me right.”

The secret lies in knowing what you want and having the confidence to choose (or wait for) it!

It’s no differently than Christmas shopping. I have friends who take months picking out the perfect gifts—hours and hours at the “crazy” malls. Me? I spend an hour or two reflecting on the people I need to buy for, remembering back to conversations we’d had over the past year (to where they might have dropped a hint at something they would like) and make a list. I go on-line and order as much as I can (preferably gift-wrapped), and have it conveniently shipped to me. I’ll spend one weekend finishing up stocking-stuffers and picking up a few last personal purchases. Christmas is not a stress for me, at all! And, my gifts always seem to be a huge hit with everyone. I get clear on what they want!

Before you spend any more time climbing ladders in your career or dating so many people you’re ready to give up, take some time to figure out “who you are and what you want.” If you don’t know what you want, you’ll spend a lifetime wasting precious time—flipping and flopping like a fish out of water, hoping you’ll make the right choice!

I couldn’t imagine going through life being unsure of what to say, what to wear, what to buy, who to date, what job to take, how to decorate my house, or for that matter, what I feel about things! I love that I live each day with clarity. I love that I have the confidence to say “yes” or “no.” I love that I have an opinion.

We’ve all heard the saying, “You can’t please all of the people, all of the time.” So please yourself! But maybe you have a hard time saying what you want because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Maybe you’re afraid or even embarrassed to change your mind on a decision you made months or even years ago. Perhaps, you’ve spent so much time taking care of everyone else’s needs that you’ve never even asked yourself “what you want, what you love, what lights you up, etc.” If so, I encourage you to read Helen’s “Pearls of Wisdom” in this month’s BOOST, where she implores you to tell the truth.

I’d also love to invite you to read the articles written by our newest contributors “Psychic Carole” and “Musings from the Man Cave” (our first and only male writer) by Brian Johnson! Plus don’t forget to read your favorites by Yvonne MacRae, Susan Sly, Wendy Cowles, and the deeply engrossing “Dark Side of the Fitness World” by Mandy Jones! http://crystalandrus.com/newsletter/april2010

Lastly, I will boldly and courageously ask you to join me on Saturday June 5th, at my house, for the last Simply…Woman RETREAT until the fall! A one-day course in YOU!

Warmly,

Crystal Andrus
P. S. Be sure to sign up for my BOOSTS and get my 7 FREE GIFTS at http://crystalandrus.com

Good-bye Yellow Brick Road….

March 27th, 2010

You may notice a huge gap in my blog posts. I, unfortunately, stumbled upon someone (or should I say “he stumbled on me”) who decided to hack into my site (no easy task) and destroy all my 2010 blog entrees. The site is 100% safe now, so please don’t worry about any trouble on your end!

The disappointing part is my lost words and thoughts. But alas, I’m starting up again and I thank you for your coming back!

Upwards and onwards…..

Crystal

You're Taking CHARGE!!

December 23rd, 2009

If you talked to most highly successful people, they would tell you that it took hard work, perseverance, focus, and the right plan. I bet they’d also tell you that they had a little bit of good luck thrown in from time to time. Even so, there were many times when they felt like giving up (and nearly did), but something always brought them back. I’ll bet there were times they felt like frauds or felt inadequate, ill-equipped, and even terrified . . . but something always told them to stay the course.


When Failure Isn’t an Option, You’ll Succeed

The inspiring story of Thomas Edison and his 10,000 attempts to create the lightbulb should give us the encouragement to never give up. Yes, that’s right! Edison tried more than 10,000 different ways to make a glass bulb light up, and at least 9,999 times were failures. I bet it was hard for him. I bet there were moments of frustration, hair pulling, and even the odd time he felt like throwing in the towel. But he never did. I’m sure he had to continually rework his plan and stay focused on his dream of putting electric lights into homes around the world. Something in him believed that he could do it.

Don’t ever assume it was easy—not for Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Babe Ruth, Amelia Earhart, Susan B. Anthony, Joan of Arc, Martin Luther King, Jr., Oprah Winfrey, Barack Obama . . . or even for your own parents! There are millions of empowered people who have blessed our world by stepping into their power—we just don’t know their names. Whether your aspiration is to do something on a global, national, regional scale, or on a level in your own backyard, your dreams matter . . . and manifesting those dreams takes effort. Don’t ever kid yourself!

What I remind myself of is that it takes more drudgery to get up every day and go to a job you hate. It takes more exertion to live in an overweight body, dependent on medication. I know firsthand that it’s downright draining to be in an unfulfilling relationship or to be around someone who is negative or condescending. To me, that’s far harder than the energy required to keep the faith, believe in your dream, and take action! Nobody ever said it was going to be easy . . . but what’s the alternative?

Are you ready to stop waiting for someone . . . anyone . . . to wake up and notice you—notice your talents, needs, wants, and desires? Are you ready to accept yourself for who you are (for all your supposed faults, weaknesses, addictions, fears, syndromes, and dysfunctions) and love yourself regardless? If so, you are ready to become an empowered person! You’re ready to begin creating a magnificent life!

I’m sure you’ve given yourself too many “outs” in the past—too many permissible excuses, but they just don’t cut it anymore. You have a choice: to keep doing what you’ve been doing or to do something you’ve never done before. Sure, this may scare you and maybe you’re not exactly sure what to do yet. You’ll find out. You’ll make the calls, do the research, and discover your next steps. You don’t have to know the whole journey today; you just need to begin moving in the right direction.

Remind yourself that you’re worth more than you’ve been. Your life is worth more than you’ve been living. Don’t beat yourself up, guilt yourself, or blame others for your situation. It is what it is, and you’ve learned so much along the way. You’re not going to wait for anyone to give you permission to be you. You’re not going to wait anymore for someone to come along and give you the money you need to start that business, set you up on that blind date, or fix your dysfunctional family. You’re taking charge. You’re going to treat yourself the way you want to be treated and stop resisting yourself and your dreams. You’ll no longer resist asking for help when you need it or doing the things that may feel a little uncomfortable.

From this day forward, assume complete accountability for your life. You must take charge of it and do what you need to do to create a life that is genuinely yours: a life that has purpose, meaning, joy, and value. You will no longer rob yourself of your dignity, integrity, and self-respect by blaming, waiting, hoping, and praying that someone will give you the things you want. You know that if it’s going to be, it’s up to me.

You know that to achieve an empowered life, you must reach higher. You must step out of your comfort zone and your need to seek permission to live your greatest life. Make a list each evening, just before going to bed, of the seven essential action steps that you need to take the next day—seven steps that will bring you closer to your goals. Start each morning with the most important step.

You are the master of your destiny, the captain of your ship. Every choice you make (or don’t make) is yours. Never give up!

Thinking About "It" Isn't Going to Get "It!" This Will…..

December 1st, 2009

In the must-have book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill writes that “the root of all achievement is desire”—specifically, a burning desire!

I used to think this meant that if I “thought about something a lot”—that if I really focused on it—the roots of achievement would just take hold and my “wantings” would be satisfied.

I’ve come to know that success is only realized once you, personally, possess the true essence of desire in every cell of your being. (And no, that isn’t just wanting something badly enough).

Desire is when something takes over you—something very primitive and unmistakeable—that drives you to do whatever it takes in order to achieve your dream or goal—without exception, without compromise, without anger, without regret, without fear, blame, guilt or shame.

Take losing weight, for example. There were times in my life that I really wanted to lose my extra body fat, and I truly believed that I desired it with every ounce of my being! In fact, most of the time, it was all I thought about! But my actions were still fuelled by self-loathing, shame, and frustration. Sure, I’d do my best to eat well but it was an effort! I’d drag my butt out of bed early to exercise but I felt angry that I had to. I struggled and white-knuckled it when it came to skipping on dessert or passing up a glass of wine. “Why did some women get to eat whatever they wanted and still be thin?” It really bugged me!

And then a shift happened. I can only compare it to falling in love. If you don’t really desire the person you’re with than being loving, understanding, giving, willing, patient, trusting, even staying faithful, can be challenging. You, literally, have to white-knuckle it. On the contrary, if you’ve ever fallen “head over heels” you’ll know that all those qualities come effortlessly—happily, willingly!

So if you find yourself struggling in any area of your life—especially over this holiday season—ask yourself “Why am I doing this?”

Truth be told, you don’t really want what you think you want!

Something in you isn’t ready, or doesn’t feel safe, for success. You may think you want to lose weight . . . You may think you want to fall in love . . . You may think you are ready for big money . . . but if you’re not able to, naturally, be good to yourself then you’re still stuck in sorrow, self-pity, fear, blame, guilt or shame. You’re pissed off that you have to do “the work” . . . and, for you, it is work, isn’t it??

Why?

Because you aren’t in love with yourself and so just like dating someone who you don’t really “dig”, it’s really challenging to be good to yourself. It’s hard to eat well, it’s tough to fit in workouts, it’s unfair to have to skip on dessert!

Does this make sense?

You don’t really desire it because you don’t really feel desirable . . . loveable . . . important enough . . . worthy! You don’t “dig” yourself!

So your task this holiday season isn’t to pass up on the shortbread cookies or say no to your company’s Christmas party. It’s to find ways to fall back in love with yourself, to remember who you really are, and to reclaim the parts of yourself you tucked away years ago (probably because someone made you think you weren’t good enough. You are!)

I hope to see you in January at my next home retreat! Have a beautiful holiday season and be good to yourself!