Looking Good in a Bathing Suit has More to do With Your Mind Than Your Body

Most of my life, I had been measuring my beauty against other women, using them as my barometer. No matter how good I was, I was never good enough. Finally, when eating disorders, followed by yo-yo weight gains, and bouts of depression took their toll, I realized that enough was enough. I’d better start doing the work on the inside since all the time I’d spent on the outside never seemed to fix my insecurities!

SO HOW DO WE LEARN TO LOVE OUR BODIES?

The majority of women are exhausted and so tired of trying. We have a concept of what beautiful is based on excruciatingly narrow models that take us to about twenty-five years of age and then rocket ahead to the elegance and refinement of the sixty year old woman, with nomad’s land in between.

Learning to really take care of yourself and love the skin you’re in is all about getting real with yourself; discovering the root of your issues, the messages you’ve heard all your life, and then taking responsibility for your health and body now. Here are some ways to help you make peace with yourself:

Face Your Fears

Fear has many expressions. In many women it often manifests as a need to be perfect: the perfect marriage, perfect body, perfect children, perfect home. It’s almost as if we distract ourselves from our real fears by concentrating on our bodies and its flaws. This “body distraction” gives us something tangible to focus on, which actually sidetracks us from what is really going on. It robs us from personal growth!

Ask yourself if the need for a perfect body comes from wanting to evade the way you really feel about yourself or things in your life. For most of us, deep deep down, that fear is a feeling of inadequacy.

We convince ourselves that if our thighs were smaller or our stomach flatter we’d be a better person, that our life would be better, and that we’d be happier. It just isn’t true!

The ironic part is that self-acceptance is key to looking great in a bathing suit. If you can make peace with say, stretch marks and cellulite, so can the rest of the world. In fact, it’s when I point out my flaws that others seem to notice!

We need to love ourselves for all our frailties and imperfections – because although things could be better, they could be worse! In order for us to learn and grow, they are meant to be just the way they are … for now.

Figure out when you feel fear and start practicing dealing with it instead of self-punishing. Focus on your breathing, take deep controlled breaths and ask yourself what has triggered the fear, “What am I most afraid of right now? What am I avoiding?”

Find Joy

Joy comes from within. It stems from facing your fears and surrendering control. It is self-love—not looking good for others, making lots of money or having the perfect body—that fills us with joy.

Self-love comes from acceptance, forgiveness, and faith. Just take a moment to watch young kids playing. They aren’t sitting around complaining about exercise and getting fat. They don’t need a chocolate bar to get through that afternoon sluggish time or a rum and coke to deal with their stressful day.

Children feel alive. They are always in the moment, seeking ways to find joy!

Nurture yourself with love during times of self-doubt. Beating up on yourself will never bring about a great body, a great life, or great joy!

The next time you catch yourself berating your body say aloud: I surrender this struggle with myself! Instead, I am focusing on who I really am and why I’m here on earth! (Or fill it in with your struggle: my body, my skin, my weight, etc).

I’d also love to encourage you to join my free community message forum to get the kindness and support you need!