Time for a few other little sagas going on in my life:
1. Melaleuca story - So last Tuesday night I was shown this presentation from someone about a company called Melaleuca. Now, I had seen a box with that on it at the home of someone I know and thought "Ok, I'll see where this leads." During the presentation, I did nearly lose it as part of the pitch was the idea that I'm "simply switching stores" for things I'd already buy and thus this isn't a big deal. However, as I live alone in a condo building where a delivery would require some scheduling so I am home to let the delivery person enter, have the package go to the office where I would then probably either have to go to reception to pick it up or over to the loading dock, or have it sent somewhere else and deal with it that way, I kind of see this in a differen light. I did vent a little on the phone and did get to a, "Is this a dealbreaker? If it is, we could stop right now," response for which I caved and let it go and I'm still not sure if I want to continue with this or not. On the one hand, it may be a useful way for me to get some things and try new stuff. At the same time, as I said I live alone and so detergent that can do 48 loads isnt' exactly something I'll need to buy each month and that is part of the program with this company as all the "preferred customers" have "backup orders" that will be ordered if one doesn't shop for a month. Ugh, though tomorrow I do go to that someone I know that uses their stuff and get a second opinion on this that may help considerably. I also got a phone call from UPS that I believe is my first order and a round of drama to go pick it up or send it to the office or something. Since I don't have a credit card, I had to give them access to my checking account that I question the wisdom of this move. I mean, if I don't have money for the order, I could get charged with various fees that I simply cannot afford at the point in my life. There was supposed to be where I faxed a void check before an order would be shipped but I think it has already been sent and so now I have to do some digging to see what the heck happened here as I really do not like it when people are wrong about how things work. In this case it is that without that check that they can still do the order and so then, why do I have to send the check? Is it just for records or something? Ugh, this scares me more and more as I think about it. At the same time, if I cancel the account now, if sometime down the road I go through this again, will be I screwed? I have that fear, however good or bad it is to have.
2. Drama with the ex - I don't know if I mentioned this one here but my ex borrows my car every weekend and this past week I got told a couple of times that I need to set up some boundaries and put a stop to this. Well, Thursday night I sent the e-mail and then got back a reply that has left me rather confused. On the one hand, I do see her points as emotional blackmail and trying to guilt me into something here. At the same time, I so need to get a second opinion on where do I go from here. Do I: 1) Cave and go back to where I was and try to resume life in ignorance, not that I like this but it is a possibility, 2) Ignore it and drop all contact as this is too toxic to try to discuss trying to move forward, which I like but fear various retaliations that could happen, 3) In sharing some of the history, get a backlash of a "You did what? Get out and never come here again!" that while I doubt it would happen, does scare me more than a little as something that may happen, 4) Refute point by point and try to see if a healthy relationship can be salvaged here. I do get that when it comes to relationships, I sucketh on a major level. I do understand that, really I do. However, how I move forward from here is where I am kind of scared crapless. Just a couple of snippets to show what I mean here:
Good to know that I was manipulated again by you. It seems like your goal is to make a lot of people unhappy, not that you seem to care. Just because you interact with people doesn't mean that they are your friends or that you have the right to impose your tears and issues on them.
You never even asked if I regained the use of my fingers, or how I was recovering from my broken bones, or if I ever needed anything. When you told me you were sick, I always asked if you needed something, or if I was at a place you would like, I offered to bring you back something.
You take what you want from people and dump them when they are no longer of use to you (your interest and involvement with the cats is a good example of that). There's a very negative pattern here. You don't want to give, but you expect a lot. If things don't go as you would like, you just drop it, because you never cared in the first place. We put the effort in. We say thank you, we apologize when we are in the wrong, we remember your birthday and thought of you at Christmas.
3. Social Geek club festivities - Last night was the usual Pub night and so this time I figured I'd bring a chess board and deck of cards, just to contribute something in a sense. I'm not giving these away, but if a pair want to play chess, they could borrow my board is how I saw it. At the same time, I could play solitaire with my deck if I ended up waiting for people. In terms of overall games I managed to play all of the following: Chess, yahtzee, Zombie Dice, Martian Fluxx, Corporation (a.k.a. a-hole) both with 2 decks and a single deck, and Liar's Dice. Over 20 people showed up in the end and it was quite the scene in a way. We pulled in I think like 6 tables in the pub and had some interesting engineering challenges in this as so many came. In a way, it was awesome to see so many people and have so much fun. At the same time, I didn't get to play in everything or meet everyone so I do have that to try to fix next time. If there is a game, then I seem to socialize better whereas if there isn't that focus I struggle. In a way, it is kind of odd but I'm starting to see more patterns around what works for me and doesn't work for me. I got home at about 12:30 in the morning and was in the pub for 6 hours or so. I also learned my lesson of hot wings at 10 pm isn't a good idea. Really, it is not a good idea to have a flaming mouth that late at night. So, next time I will remember this as I seem to really have fun at my little outing here each Friday night.
If nothing else, I know that I can type a good story and at times come to various places for support, help and to ask questions.
